Should parents chauffeur their kids to school?

BY EUGENE TOH

I recently read an article on Straits Times - with the writer calling for Singaporean parents to stop chauffeuring their children to school.This was written in response to an incident where a Bentley driver cut the queue outside Red Swastika School & injured a security guard.

Bad behaviour by parents when chauffeuring their kids to school

Bad behaviour is suggested as a reason why as parents, we should stop chauffeuring our children. The writer cites that the Traffic Police is often called in to control unruly queue jumpers or lane straddlers.

You can’t stop bad behaviour. We see bad behaviour all the time. In a recent visit to the ice-cream shop with my children, we observed an elderly man yelling at the server in an unruly manner when he was the one breaching safe-distancing rules. Individuals who display such behaviour are likely also to be the ones displaying ‘bad behaviour’ when driving. 

It’s the same with the “Cyclist-vs-driver-who-owns-the-road” debate. We see terrible behaviour on the roads all the time, whether be it motorists, cyclists or pedestrians. We don’t stop people from driving, cycling or walking due to such bad behaviour. The problem is with the individuals with the bad behaviour, not driving, cycling or walking as an activity. There are bad drivers, horrible cyclists & can’t-care-less pedestrians everywhere.

What we need to do - is to examine ways on how to encourage a more ‘gracious’ culture as a society.

Different considerations for different families

The writer also suggests that to encourage young people to wean off private transportation - we should stop chauffeuring them to school. In Singapore where we have 1 million vehicles and only 728km2 of space - that is indeed true.

Yet - when we make decisions, it’s all about weighing the pros, cons, trade offs and constraints. We cannot simply generalise when different families have different circumstances & considerations to make.

Young children below 8 cannot be expected to make the trips to school on their own via public transport. Parents may also find it hard to bring their children to school via public transport especially if they have more than 2 children to send to school. Suppose you have 3 young children aged 3, 5 & 7 - they could all be attending different schools. You have to drop them off at school and make it to work - it might be very difficult to do so on public transport especially if there is no direct bus / train service from home to the various schools.

Spending time with children

I know of a few parents who send their older children to school (Secondary & JC) - I asked them why not let them go to school on their own. Their answers were similar

A friend who is a lawyer mentioned that he is very busy at work all the time and spends little time with them, so he makes the effort to at least send them to school / pick them from school whenever that is possible. It is his way of spending time with his kids.

Another friend says - it is their way of showing concern by making the effort to pick them up and send them to school especially if it gives them an extra hour to sleep in.

Should we stop expressions of love by parents - if that’s how they show they care?

If everyone can walk, why must those who are better-off drive?

Driving is a matter of practicality for many parents. I drive my kids to school as there is no direct bus from home to school. I take public transport to work whenever I’m on my own or when the destination has a direct bus or train stop from my home.

The writer makes a point to mention that “6 in 10 households do not own a car” and they have gone to school and home uneventfully over the years, “the minority” can do so too. He also writes that by getting the 40% to take public transport, it helps them to see ‘how the other half lives’.

Parents who own cars, may not necessarily send their children to school by car. Many parents actually do let their older children make their way to school on their own. It may thus be unreasonable to even say that the 40% who drive have children who ‘don’t see how the other half lives’

In land-scarce Singapore - cars are a luxury good. If the parents in the family have done well enough to acquire cars and use them to send their children to school, that is a personal preference. There seems to be an implied suggestion that by driving the children to school, they grow up to be less ‘tough’. Again, this conflation between parents driving their children to school & them growing up in a certain way - is strange.

To chauffeur or not to chauffeur

To summarise - I think the decision should be made on your own, based on your own unique circumstances.

I take public transport whenever I can. I hate navigating terrible traffic or waiting for parking lots - I enjoy the ability to read or space out when I’m on the train.

I’ll drive my kids to school when they are still too young to take public transport. Hopefully we can get them a Primary school near our home so they can walk to school and when they go to Secondary & JC - it’s bus & train for them.

If they are having a difficult or long week in school (exams! Or competitions!) - I’ll do my “Dad” duties and take the time out to pick / drop them off if that gets them some extra sleep!